Has Someone You Love Been Arrested on Horrific Charges, Like Florida Child Pornography Or Solicitation? [What Can You Do?]

May 26, 2014 by David S. Seltzer

Maybe investigators just knocked at your door and arrested your husband on charges of internet pornography crime or solicitation. Or maybe you just received news that a close friend from high school or a family member has come under investigation for similarly disturbing cybercrimes.

Even though you love the person and care about him or her, you are also deeply disturbed by the allegations and confused about how to relate to the situation. Unfortunately, there are no simple answers. Right now, you may be riding conflicting emotions. On the one hand, you care about the person and want to believe the best. On the other hand, you may be so outraged or sickened by what has been alleged that you cannot access your more compassionate emotions.

First off, appreciate that you're taking time to think through and work through these feelings. Also, know that you are not the first person blindsided by these problems.

Before you have critical conversations with the person who stands accused, consider going through the following exercise, so that you can speak coherently and compassionately.

Rather than impulsively discussing the accusations with the friend or loved one, take time to collect your thoughts and think through how you want any conversation to proceed. Prepare for the conversation, almost like you might prepare for a job interview or for a pivotal conversation with a new client. Really think through:

• What could go wrong;
• What you could say that could cause hurt feelings;
• How you might react to revelations that the person tells you;
• How you need to be during the conversation. (For instance, you might want to make sure that you're rested, well fed and safe during the conversation.)
• After you talk with the person, schedule time with a therapist or close friend to discuss what happened, so you don’t have to process the events yourself.
• You might also want to record your thoughts in a journal – before, during, and after any key conversations.
• Think through the logistics of your household. For instance, if your husband might stay in jail indefinitely, while the accusations get sorted out, you may need to make alternative arrangements regarding child care, your work, etc.

Withhold judgment, and make sure that all the facts get heard. People accused of cybercrimes – particularly pornographic crimes – often wind up isolated, even from friends or family members. The allegations may be false, or the truth may be much less alarming than authorities have suggested. Withhold judgments for now, seek to understand and support your own needs (and the needs of your family), and get support.

Turn to the team here at Seltzer Law, PA, at 1-888-THE-DEFENSE (888-843-3333) for 24 hour assistance with Florida cybercrime defense. Our team has the resources, experience and sensitivity to help you and your family get through this troubling time.